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Ah-Surgery went well for the most part. Recovery was a lot more awful then I was expecting. In the beginning.. Unable to walk, in extruxiating (however you spell it), pain. It's been almost 4 weeks since the surgery and i'm just now healing well and taking care of myself. I overdid it on the pain pills but hey, an addict would, right? I haven't had much to drink since the 1st. Nothing to really speak of at least and I'm feeling so much better. I'm a little restless though. I took an ambien and also 2 valiums and can't fall asleep yet. 

It could be b/c I spent 3 hours with 2 Autistic twin girls that I will be taking care of and their condition has been on mind a bit. It went okay. I don't anticipate much difficulty if I'm only there a minimal amount of time 2 days a week. It's interesting how different they are, being identical twins. 
School is starting again in a couple of weeks- trying to enjoy the rest of my down time. 

New Years and Christmas were fantastic this year! I think the excitment of my surgery and finishing the first semester of RN school really got me going. Now.... i'm in some debt that I need to work off. It kind of scares me when I see my bank account. BUT, I know once I've healed and even now and ESPECIALLY when I'm able to workout again- it will all be worth it!! To actually have a normal body... for the most part... 

I wish back then I had some concept as to how all that food would effect me. But, my brain is an addictive one and moderation is a word that is VERY hard for me. I rarely do anything in moderation- good or bad. Food it still hard for me! Right now I have been over snacking as a matter of fact!!! It's difficult to control. I've been allowing myself to justify my eating (without being able to workout even) with the fact that I haven't been drinking. I think that even alone is helping in the healing process and I am SOOO ready to be healed completely with no open wounds! 

Drew has been amazing through it all. When I could see the concern on his face while we were in my hospital room and I was in pain or needed anything... he was there... I'm so happy to have him. We may not have much in common. We may not agree on everything. But, one thing we do have in common is we love each other. Sometimes I wish he would touch me more and be less distracted by the T.V, But, he is still a man... We are doing well at this point though and I hope for it to continue throughout the new year. 

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ashaym0919
ashaym0919

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